What Kind of Woman Are You Making?

By Tori Ruckman

“The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” Titus 2:3-5

While you read those verses, I hope at least one such “aged” woman came to mind. If you know an older woman who is holy, loves her husband and children, and has lived a life worthy to teach all the things in these verses, you are blessed to know her! I have had the privilege of knowing many. 

Sadly, I have also encountered the opposite. I have been acquainted with many bitter, ungodly, unkind, unloving “aged” women in the world and on the church pew. Some would not be considered a “bad” woman, but I certainly would not characterize them as this Titus 2 woman. She’s just another level!

Did you know that we are all making a woman? Every day, the choices we make are either making us into women like these Titus 2 ladies or the opposite. Who do you want to be? 

Your direction determines your destination.

If you want to be a godly older woman, you won’t get there by being a worldly young or middle-aged lady. Your daily decisions will turn you into the kind of woman you want to be or don’t want to be.

Here are a few things to remember about becoming the woman you want to be…

• We are not all the same. Having a godly woman to look up to is a wonderful thing. However, when we fail to distinguish the difference between following an example and being an exact copy of who we look up to, we are placing unnecessary stress on our lives. God made you unique. He has a specific purpose for you. That purpose is hindered when we try to be exact copies of one another.

• We must forget past failures. Maybe in the past, or more recently, you have found yourself becoming a woman you do not want to be. We have all been there. If you are not where you want to be, it is not too late to change. Don’t dwell or wallow in failure.

• We must plan for success. Go read Matthew 7:24-27. We are all building a life. If we want success through the storms of life, it requires preparation on our part. We do not just get to reap the benefits of wisdom if our daily choices are foolish. 

But the question remains- what choices can we make today to become godly women in the future? Here are some things God gave me. Maybe you can add some to the list. They apply to any area of womanhood, whether teenage, single, married, young mom, middle-aged, or even if you consider yourself “aged.”

1. Spend time with God. 

This seems obvious, but how often do we neglect our relationship with God and reap the lack of it in the next seasons of life? Maybe you are a teen or young lady who is unmarried. If you want to be a godly wife and mother someday, you are not going to get there by neglecting God today.

The godly “aged” woman, sweetly sitting in your church serving others with her warm smile and kind word, was not made by scrolling social media all day. She’s been in the prayer place a few days in her life (probably daily!). All those encouraging things she says are not just made up in her head- she’s been in the Word! Her kindness and sweet spirit are a direct reflection of her time spent walking with a kind Father. 

2. Spend time with the women you admire. 

Proverbs 13:20, “He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.”

Pick out those godly women. (Make sure they aren’t just pretending. Be wise and watchful.) Then sit with them at the church dinner. Ask them questions. Learn their habits and qualities that have made them godly women. Learn about their struggles in loving their husbands. Let them teach you how the Lord helped them. 

They are not perfect. Many times, as you build a relationship, you will find that they have had the same struggles you are facing in your season. This will encourage your heart to go on and strive to make a woman who is a beautiful, godly, aged woman. 

3. Develop Character Traits and Skills. 

A very practical step on your journey to making this woman is to develop the skills and character you want her to have, spiritually and physically. Think about this woman. Just imagine her for a little while as though she were not part of yourself. Who is she? What qualities does she have? What can she do? How does she react and respond to life’s storms? 

If you are single and desire to be married someday, learn the skills necessary to be the best wife you can be. Learn to cook, clean, submit to authority, decorate and maintain a home, care for children, etc. If you want to be a godly mother to your future teenagers, develop a walk with God as a mother of little ones. Is your goal to be a hospitable, thoughtful old grandma taking care of all the younger women in your church and encouraging them? Start practicing now. 

4. Obey the Holy Spirit. 

We may have all the right ideas of how to become this godly, “aged” woman, but if we are disobedient to the Holy Spirit, we will never achieve her. See, the truth is that if anything good is made, it will not be by our own doing. Yes, we must make the choices, but only by obedience to God will we see the fruit we so desire.

Make it your daily goal to choose to obey every nudge. Whether it be in prayer for another believer, witnessing to someone, or dealing with something in your heart or home. Whatever it is, determine obedience.

5. Constantly Prioritize. 

Life is a balancing act. It’s a constant juggling of priorities. Often, we start to feel overwhelmed as we are pulled in many directions. Maybe they are all good directions, but not the best direction. 

When we take time to reflect on the woman we are making for the next 20, 30, 50 years, it becomes much clearer what is of most importance today.

Think of your long-term goal. Make the decisions for today accordingly. When we do this, we find little time for earthly things of no value. We find a treasured key that these aged women have mastered, and that is a wise use of our time! 

So, how are you doing? 

Are you spending time with God? How is your relationship with the “aged” women? What does the woman you are making look like today? 

With the help of God, we can become who He desires us to be, no matter where we are today!